Stretch marks, 5 am wake up calls, ear piercing cries, diaper rashes, puncture wounds from stepping on an Iron Man toy and the list goes on and on. Children; often defined by child bearing women as "cute life changing miracles". When I hear that I want to roll my eyes just a little bit. The older I get the more I find myself unable to tolerate children.
This intolerance has a lot to do with my freedom. I LOVE my freedom. Not just freedom to do what I want but freedom in my money.
According to BabyCenter.com daycare cost a whopping $11,666 per year that is $972 per month. Who in the hell in their 20s has extra money like that? And if you do, are you willing to spend it on a drooling baby who tells you “No” all the time? Remember that is not on top of the everyday survival kit for humans. Babies need to eat, be clothed and taken to doctors and what not. For me that is overwhelmingly exhausting.
Call me selfish but I’m extremely happy with my freedom of time.
I can go to bed when I want to. Wake up according to my schedule. I can plan vacations and last minute trips to the casino, the mall, movies, and a night on the town no babysitter required. I love it this way.
When I’m around my friends who have kids and all they talk about is their kids…..just shoot me now!
Seriously why did you invite me? Why do I have to be stuck looking at the latest tweets at this nice restaurant while the two of you coo over your children? Create a mommy and me group and keep me the hell out of it. I hate having to bite my tongue to my closest friends in order to avoid an argument or the common statement
“You don’t have children so you wouldn’t know.”
Michelle*: Did I tell you Dominick* no longer wears diapers?
Me: Ooh congrats
In my head I’m really thinking “Bitch he’s 4 years old he should have been out of them years ago.”
Don’t get me wrong I do have a motherly intuition when I see new babies or when a child falls while I walk by the park in my neighborhood my instinct is to jump up and save them. I promise you I am not like the old lady with cats. I haven’t sworn off children completely. Maybe one day (in my mid –to late 30s) my future husband and I will pop out one drooling cry baby and I will be overcome with that stuff called joy and this post will be forgotten. As for right now in my ripe 20’s I will continue to enjoy my FREEDOM!
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.